When a Nuclear Submarine Saved My Life

I was waiting outside the office of the IT VP at Fox International Channels in Atlanta. Everyone was terrified of him.

I’d just been hired to develop a system to figure out when and which movies to buy. If he didn’t grant me access to the corporate database, I was sunk before I even started.

He finally let me in but kept working, not even glancing at me. I felt less significant than a bug in his presence. I knew almost nothing about him, except that he’d been in the Navy.

After what felt like forever, he looked up. Desperate to break the ice, I asked,

“Where did you serve?”

“Attack submarine, Los Angeles class,” he said. “I was the reactors officer.”

I took a shot. “Which type of submarine: Block I, Block II, or 688i?”

His eyes widened. It was the last thing he expected. And then we spent an hour discussing military tactics and operations.

I’m the kind of nerd who reads about theoretical physics and military strategy on the subway, so getting to talk to a former reactors officer from an attack submarine was like winning the lottery.

His secretary finally interrupted because he had another meeting. Only then did he realize I hadn’t asked for anything. “What do you want from me?” he said.I explained in one sentence what I was hired to do and the database tables I needed to read. He sent an email.

The next day, I was with the database administrator, who opened his boss’s email and couldn’t believe it. I had complete read access to the entire database.

Years later, a student asked me about the most influential book in my life. He probably expected something highbrow like Wittgenstein’s Tractatus. I thought for a moment and said, “When I was 14, I read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.”

In a world where everyone wants to be the leader, the popular one, the center of attention, Carnegie’s rule—“Become genuinely interested in other people”—is a call to authenticity and common sense worth remembering.

You never know when a genuine interest in people serving on nuclear submarines might save your life. For more articles like this, subscribe to the Newsletter  Get more ideas in the book How to See What Others Don't